Essence

That word commands rather a lengthy entry in my Oxtail Dictionary of Words & Phrases With Which Is Incorporated Latin Words & Phrases and New Words Introduced Into the English Language. It is simply a feature of speech which unfortunately achieves prominence if you have to wear dentures. This may be part of the natural degenerative process through advancing years or the inevitable consequence of a lack of tooth care - if you choose to believe Pam Ayres – but, however it happens, ensure you acquire some decent ones, or you should avoid singing Gracie Fields' famous song The Biggest Aspidistra In The World, attempting tongue twisters like 'she sells seashells on the seashore', Edgar Allan Poe's The Raven (or, at least, the line that begins "And the silken sad uncertain rustling…"), if you don't want to keep being asked at the Christmas party for a rendition of the Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs' song "Whistle While You Work", or Pinocchio's "Give A Little Whistle" or constantly being given the cards in Charades for The Old Grey Whistle Test, Whistle Down The Wind, The Whistle Blower, Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Café, and, last but by no means least, the memorable 1968 film from the well-known Filipino director Consuelo Osorio, based on the story by Mars Ravelo, Ngitngit ng Pitong Whistle Bomb.

Imagine if Lauren Bacall's immortal lines as Marie "Slim" Browning in To Have And Have Not  had to be changed because poor old Bogie was a sufferer: "You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your lips together and blow jam in the false gnashers and say 'ipsissimus'."

Notable proponents of this occupational hazard are John Craven (currently appearing on the BBC's Countryfile) and Sir David Attenborough (currently appearing in most nature programmes on several channels and the BBC's more and more annoyingly frequent ITV-style interludes advertising its  current and upcoming offerings).

I count myself very lucky that I am in the position of not knowing if all dentures exhibit this irritating tendency but, if I were John or Sir Dave*, I'd consult the BBC Props Department. Michael Parkinson (currently reduced to TV commercials for insurance) appears to have the problem beaten, although he can't read the auto-cue without it looking totally obvious that's what he's doing.

Geoffrey Palmer is a very good actor, isn't he?

*polite informality