At last - a blog!

Now, I could go overboard and fill your heads with swathes of mundane rubbish about my Christmas and New Year, but then you would be overbored. Haha! See that? So I won’t mention that, on the Thursday night before Christmas, the pub was so full that people were walking out of the front door and coming back in via one of the other two doors to get to other parts of the pub, or that on Christmas Day lunchtime, the place was packed to the rafters with people you've never seen before, although possibly, you did see them last Christmas Day lunchtime (don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining) or that, on New Year's Eve, even after 8 hours, the term hog roast was, for a while, partially disingenuous (it wasn't the 'hog' bit) and, via a human conveyor belt (me), piles of carved pork were being taken to the minuscule kitchen and finished off there – you could hardly hear the music for the rumbling stomachs (and it wasn't a nearby cow) – and I had wasted my time issuing cloakroom tickets (so that batches of 20 punters could assemble in an orderly manner to prevent everyone piling in at once) because the DJ announced the first batch of numbers and, within 15 minutes, everyone was queuing and, possibly the worst catastrophe of all: no crackling. So what could I tell you, then, if I’m not going to mention any of that? I may think of something soon. In the meantime - Happy New Year!