Old Friends

Sheila’s mother, Mary, and stepfather, John, came to stay with us on the 29th December. They are going on a Caribbean cruise with my sister-in-law and brother-in-law – on the 14th January. Fortunately, Mary is very fond of ironing – when she comes to stay, I am astounded to doscover how many shirts and T-shirts I own!!

Much more importantly, John, now 85, is a shadow of his former self and I am sad to see the irrevocable decline of his mental and physical state, having known him for more than 27 years. When I first met him, he was an active, intelligent, generous and principled man with many practical skills, and fiercely independent. Now, he is a weak shell in which his former self resides, striving to be remembered; through deafness he struggles to hear what is going on around him, it’s hard for him to remember what has gone before - in any part of his life or a few minutes ago. He is mocked (not to his face, but fondly) – and loved – by all of us, and Mary has had to learn to adopt a level of patience hitherto unnecessary. She seems to cope but I think it is wearing her down.

We went out for a meal the other night with them and some friends, to celebrate my birthday. The conversation turned to what John and Mary had done during the Second World War and it transpired that Mary was writing John’s life story from information he has given her over the years.

I think this is a fascinating idea and everyone should do it for their children. Whether or not the things you do in your life are interesting (or right or wrong) is irrelevant – your children should know about them. I think I am going to try and write mine!