Dear Powergen....

As a result of the telephone call to Powergen I’ve just had, I would respectfully suggest that they reword the standard letter which we received at the pub recently. “To: The Best Pub In The New Forest Customer Reference Number: 80110cx5 2 u Dear Customer Thank you for changing - without even realising you had - to Business Electricity Plan Flexirate 2. You'll see this change on your next bill from us. As a Powergen customer with a Business Electricity Plan contract, your prices will be fixed for the length of your contract and we're pleased to be able to give details of the Business Electricity Plan you believe you have chosen all by yourself without any help from us overleaf. Remember, if you are a Tesco Clubcard holder and you have a mere 15 minutes 55 seconds to waste, please contact us at the number below to attempt to register your Clubcard with us as part of a promotion which, as you will soon discover, is only available to Residential customers. Please try and ensure that, before ringing, you have a telephone with a speaker button so that you can get on with some work while you wait the 14 minutes 55 seconds it takes to actually answer your call. With this scenario in mind, you will, of course, appreciate that our operative will thereby have actually dealt with your actual call very quickly indeed, actually. Do remember this call will be free but it would be of great help to obviate delays for other customers with genuine account queries if you were to ring on a separate occasion just to thank us for not charging you for ringing us - this usually only takes 12 minutes 40 seconds. You would - if the Clubcard facility were available to you - earn 1 point for every £1 you spend on your energy. That's 224 points a month you will learn you will have lost just by ringing us - free! Yours faithfully, Elaine Harley Customer Service” Tchoh! Guess which two words out of the last four don’t go together!