Giddy macaws honor rio – pah!

SIMON RICHARD GOODWAY – GOD OR ROWDYISH MANIAC? Will we ever know? Probably not. I’M A WORDY, SARDONIC HOG but I don’t think there is anything sufficiently evocative in the English language to describe him. NOW, HOARY SORDID MAGIC might be able to achieve this seemingly impossible task. OH, ODD MAGICIANS WORRY, too, about its efficacy and I remain sceptical. He has been able to WORM HIS GOOD RADIANCY into the lives of many people – well, perhaps ‘worm’ isn’t a very apt word as it suggests creeping, secretive slitheriness, and it hasn’t happened like that. I am pleased to refute any such suggestion that his intentions are other than GOOD. HORRID MANIC WAYS simply do not exist in his philosophy. He is definitely not SHADOWY, GRIM, OR ON ACID but is neither GAY, MACHO OR SORDID. WIN him over and you have a friend for life. There he sits, in a lonely hotel room, in a Windsor chair - O MY GOD A WINDSOR CHAIR! – his eyes firmly fixed upon his computer screen, working down the list of things to DO AMID WORRYING CHAOS, dreaming up yet another fascinating tale about A COWARD HIRING SODOMY, perhaps, or a happy singing cake keeping itself WARM IN A CHOIR SO DODGY that even a singing cake doesn’t seem out of place. He often reflects upon incidents in his life and realises he ought to have said to himself ‘Following some GRAND WASHROOM IDIOCY, I must conceal my DOWDYISH GROIN OR A CAM might show it to the world.’ When, however, he has amassed millions by dint of his amazing talents and is ensconced in his ivory tower, he can say to himself ‘I’M A WORDY RICH GOON, SAD though that may be for all of you. Take this huge pile of money and convert it to pizza. Oh, and keep the change.’